Often entrepreneurs face many ups and downs in their startup journey that it becomes difficult to easily remove the pent up emotions – unless they join a social business group or they have a large support system to easily vent out their feelings or access to mentors to gain guidance. But in the absence of both the release mechanisms, the age old method of using journaling as a medium to guide entrepreneurs comes handy.
Most great entrepreneurs such as Ray Kroc, Lee Iacocca, Michael Bloomberg, Bill Gates, Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos have authored their journeys into books while others such as Steve Jobs and Elon Musk hired established authors to author their struggle in their business journeys.
Writing about things that hurt deeply can be a powerful way to process pain, heal, and create something deeply authentic. It’s often in exploring the raw, painful experiences that we unearth the most honest and meaningful stories. However, this kind of writing can be emotionally intense and challenging, so it’s important to approach it carefully. Here’s a guide to help you write about what hurts, whether it’s trauma, grief, loss, or anything else that’s causing emotional turmoil.
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Create a Safe Space for Your Writing
Before you even start, it’s important to establish a safe, comfortable space where you can confront your emotions without feeling overwhelmed. Writing about pain can trigger intense emotions, so creating a nurturing environment can help you stay grounded. The safe space should be able to provide you protection from unnecessary issues with suppliers, vendors and even employees.
How to Create This Space:
Physical Space: Set up a quiet corner where you can focus without distractions. Maybe light a candle, wrap yourself in a comforting blanket, or put on music that helps you feel emotionally supported.
Mental Space: Let go of expectations. Allow yourself to write without judgment. This isn’t about crafting a polished piece; it’s about expressing raw emotion. The goal is to release, not to be perfect.
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Start with Freewriting (Get the Emotions Out)
A great way to begin is through freewriting, where you just let your thoughts flow without worrying about structure, grammar, or even coherence. The point is to express and release the emotions that you’ve been holding inside.
How to Freewrite:
Set a timer for 15-30 minutes. Write continuously, even if you don’t know exactly what you want to say. Just let your pen or fingers move.
Focus on how you feel rather than what you’re writing. Don’t worry about a plot or structure. Just express your feelings.
Allow the words to pour out, even if they’re messy or jumbled. You’re not writing for an audience at this stage, you’re writing for you.
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Identify the Core Emotion (Dig Deeper)
Once you’ve written for a while, it’s time to reflect on what’s really hurting you. Is it loss? Regret? Loneliness? Grief? Identify the core emotion behind your pain.
How to Do This:
Go through your freewriting and highlight or underline the parts that stand out the most. What makes your chest tighten? What brings tears to your eyes? These are the key emotional moments that need to be explored.
Ask yourself why these feelings are so strong. Is it something from the past that hasn’t been processed? Is it something you’re currently going through? Dig deeper into the source of your pain.
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Embrace Vulnerability in Your Writing
Painful emotions often live in the places where we’re most vulnerable. Writing about what hurts requires you to be vulnerable with yourself and with the words. Vulnerability is often where we find our truest, most powerful writing.
How to Be Vulnerable:
Tell the truth: Write the truth, even if it feels uncomfortable. It doesn’t matter if it’s not “pretty.” Don’t edit yourself in the process—just let your words come out as they need to. •
Use sensory language: Describe your feelings in sensory terms. What does the pain feel like in your body? Is there a weight in your chest? A lump in your throat? A knot in your stomach? This brings the emotional experience into physical form.
Explore your fears: What are you afraid of? Fear often accompanies deep emotional pain, so give yourself permission to explore those fears fully. The act of confronting them through give yourself permission to explore those fears fully. The act of confronting them through writing can be healing.
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Use Metaphor and Symbolism
If writing directly about the pain feels too overwhelming, try using metaphor and symbolism. Sometimes, turning painful experiences into symbolic language can make it easier to handle and more profound.
How to Use Metaphor:
Nature as metaphor: For example, if you’re writing about grief, you could describe it as a storm or a dead tree. A dying forest might symbolize the death of a loved one, or the rising sun could represent new hope.
Objects as symbols: A broken mirror could symbolize fractured self-identity, or a crumbling house might represent the collapse of a relationship or dream. Find metaphors that speak to your experience.
Emotional landscapes: You can paint emotional landscapes, using the weather or the time of day to reflect how you’re feeling. Is it dark, cold, and stormy? Or is it sunny but with a strange emptiness in the air?
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Use Dialogue and Characterization (Project Your Pain)
Sometimes, it can be easier to write about pain by projecting it onto characters. Create a character who is going through the same emotional pain you are, or even write as if you’re talking to the person or thing causing the pain. This technique helps to distance yourself from the direct experience but still express the emotions.
How to Apply Dialogue and Characters:
Write a letter to the pain: Create a letter or a conversation where you directly speak to the pain you’re feeling. Write as if you are confronting the person, the event, or even your own emotions.
Create a character who embodies your pain: Maybe it’s a character who’s gone through a similar experience (loss, betrayal, heartache). You can have them confront the issue directly or even transform it in ways that feel healing.
Write as someone else: You can also write as someone who has experienced your pain but might not feel the same way you do. This helps you step outside your own narrative and gain a different perspective on your emotions.
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Let Yourself Feel and Cry (Allow the Emotions to Flow)
Writing about pain can bring up intense emotions. Allow yourself to feel everything that comes up. Crying or having a deep emotional reaction is part of the process. Let your writing be a release. How to Do This:
Don’t hold back: If tears come, let them. If you need to take a break and cry, do it. Let your emotions flow.
Journaling as catharsis: If writing a novel feels too big at first, start with journaling. Freewriting about what hurts might allow you to open the floodgates before diving into more structured storytelling.
Be kind to yourself: When you write about pain, especially deep emotional hurt, you’re doing tough, courageous work. Give yourself the space to feel and take breaks if needed.
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Write in Small Chunks (Don’t Overwhelm Yourself)
If the pain feels too intense or overwhelming to dive into all at once, break it up. Write in small chunks that allow you to process over time rather than all at once.
How to Apply:
Write short scenes: Focus on specific moments, like the moment of loss, the argument, or the first realization of hurt. Small scenes can be much easier to handle than tackling an entire novel about grief or pain all at once.
Use time limits: Set a timer for 15-20 minutes and write only for that period. If emotions get too intense, take a break. Over time, you can build emotional resilience through small, consistent writing sessions.
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Edit with Compassion and Distance
After the catharsis of writing, when you’re ready to look at your work again, approach the editing process with compassion. The first draft is where your emotions flow freely, but later, you’ll need to rework it into something that resonates with others while still staying true to your experience. How to Do This:
Take breaks: Don’t rush into editing immediately. After pouring your emotions into the page, take time away before returning with fresh eyes.
Focus on the story: When editing, try to balance the emotional rawness with narrative structure. Make sure the emotional weight is carried through in the plot, character arc, and setting.
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Remember: Write for Yourself First
Finally, remember that this process is for you first. Writing about deep pain is not always about the finished product—it’s about the journey of expression and release. The cathartic process can be healing, even if the story never gets shared with anyone.
How to Do This:
Write for your own healing: Even if your ultimate goal is to publish, start by writing for your own emotional release. The act of writing will likely resonate with others when it’s genuine and authentic, but the initial aim is healing.
Don’t worry about perfection: Focus on getting your feelings out, not on crafting a perfect narrative. The more honest and raw you are, the more likely others will connect with your work.
11. Foster Community To Share The Healing
Sharing Without Pressure: If sharing is part of the process, remind everyone that they don’t have to explain their art if they don’t want to. However, if they do choose to share, encourage an open and supportive group atmosphere. In group settings, encourage kindness and listening without judgment.
Building Connection: A sense of connection is often healing. For group activities, fostering camaraderie and support (without pressure) can build trust and create a sense of belonging, which is essential for emotional safety.
The transformation journey
Writing about the things that hurt deeply is a brave act of vulnerability and healing. It can be difficult and emotionally taxing, but it’s also one of the most cathartic and transformative experiences. By giving voice to your pain, you’re not only freeing yourself but also potentially offering others a mirror to see their own struggles, making them feel less alone.
Take it slow, be kind to yourself, and remember: writing is a journey, and catharsis is about releasing and finding healing through the written word. It will also act as a mentor to you in your journey in the abscence of one – and who knows you might end up creating a startup community – by sharing your own experiences, and letting others share theirs.
